Afraid of Gay?

This post marks our 500th post on the Out Front Blog. In just over two years, we’ve now reached a milestone in thought, opinion and dialogue. How ironic then, that as we continue and expand the conversation, the so-called “mainstream media” seem less interested in gay and lesbian communications.

The past several weeks have brought a number of examples of what looks – to me, at least – like fear of gay people and gay issues. For example:

--An almost utter lack of “mainstream” media coverage about LGBT ballot initiatives and the role of gay voters in elections across the country before the presidential election (coverage since then has been dominated by blogs and LGBT outlets)

--The sudden, unexpected dismissal of an actress playing a lesbian from “Grey’s Anatomy,” the hit television show on ABC

--The return of juvenile, humorless “let’s make fun of gays” antics on NBC’s Saturday Night Live

It’s almost as though media has somehow forgotten what to say or how to cover our lives. Whether they are concerned that they’ll “offend” us in some way or they think that the passage of anti-gay ballot initiatives is some indicator of the mood of the country (meaning they shouldn’t talk about us), the result is the same: less attention to our lives and an almost embarrassment of talking about us openly and honestly.

Left unchanged, does this trend mean we are becoming personae non grata in newsrooms and scriptwriter planning meetings? 

With the exception of the hit ABC television show “Brothers and Sisters,” which ran an excellent gay-themed show Sunday night that featured no less than three same sex kisses between a married male couple, straight media seems to be heading right back into the closet and dragging popular entertainment and media coverage with it.

Why do we wonder about the reasons people stay in the closet when straight society’s acknowledgement of our relationships is not to acknowledge them at all?

I think that’s the reason we saw such lackluster coverage of Proposition 8 before the election – a reluctance to address “complex” issues such as gay marriage in media coverage. Wanda Sykes, in her “coming out” speech in Las Vegas last weekend, seemed to reflect the outcome of this coverage when she said that she didn’t previously think she needed to be out, but that the passage of Prop. 8 made her feel “personally attacked” and pushed her to be more vocal.

My thoughts on this theory of “fear” of gay people aren’t new, and I’ve written about them lately here. I really do think a big reason for this renewed silence is fear of the unknown and fear of doing or saying “the wrong thing.” This seems to be true particularly among well-meaning people who think of themselves as "gay-friendly." In a day and age when we can finally elect an African-American person to the highest office in the land, we ought to be able to fully and honestly acknowledge all of the people in our society.    

Fear is ugly and divisive, particularly when fear of the “other” drives discrimination and bigotry and serves as a convenient excuse for ignoring an entire community of people. It’s okay to be gay and it should be okay for media and “straight society” to acknowledge that now and forever.

Comments

[Pete Klaus]

Many excellent points in this post, Ben.

I gotta say, the SNL skit was trite and so humorless and dated.

Notice the audience laughs when the male characters kiss. That really says it all.

It's okay to make fun of two men kissing in 2008?

The answer is obviously yes for some...and that's sad.

However, I truly believe that one day society will look back (just as it has with segregation) and realize the destructive results of homophobia.

And I will be very happy and proud to be one of the people who has the right to say, "We told you so."

Also, notice the cheap attempt to show various "types" of gays... with the dancers (Timberlake et all) juxtaposed with the mechanics.

I honestly believe SNL would say, "You can't fault us for having lisping dancers when we also featured two 'butch' mechanics in the skit...we showed gays can be diverse... we're not stereotyping."

For those of us who are LGBT, that type of rationalization falls flat.

Bottom line: you're making fun of us and making our lives in society more difficult and dangerous.

Period.

Is this really light-hearted fun?

No.

It's something that results in serious physical and psychological realities for LGBT members of society... especially the young.

That's not "haha" territory in my personal opinion.

The only consolation is that this boring skit proves that SNL has sunk back to its post-election lows:

Poorly written and executed skits that fail to generate a lot of laughs.

Ratings will definitely begin tank if they consider this tripe their A-game material...

[vikiqing8]

well, what are we afraid of? They are also common people, the only defference is that they love different life style. I have many straight friends also LGBT friend. I can't see where is the difference. I know many LGBT at Bimingle.com . Most of them also show serious attitude toward love and marriage. Also there are some only to have fun. But can you say there is no straight ones to have fun about relationship?